We’ve all been there, you’ve asked your child for the umpteenth time to either complete a simple task, “Will you please get your shoes on?!” or stop a behavior, “Don’t jump on the couch!” and you know they hear you but you also don’t see them listening.
Even if, unlike my home, it’s not shoes and couches that you struggle with, here are some tips to help you get your child to make the right choice – you know, the one that means you don’t have to ask three times.
- Sandwich your request between your expectation and a solid dose of praise.
There’s no 2. because it’s really that simple. Just like we all prefer our work to come with a side of a paycheck, children deserve the same praise and admiration for a job well done. Children aim to please, they constantly seek your attention and crave positive affirmations. Use that truth to channel your child’s behavior. I want you to speak into your child the results you want to see and if you present the request correctly, and they hear you, nine times out of ten they will listen.
Instead of asking for the third time if your child has their shoes on yet, try the first time “I really need you to get your shoes on and I can’t wait to see what a good listener you’re going to be!”
When your child is jumping on the couch they are not supposed to be jumping on, try “I really appreciate it when you remember our rules about jumping on that couch.”
Sometimes coming at behaviors and the expectations we have of our children can be just as simple as the way we ask the first time which prevents us from having to ask a second and third time.
I hope following this plan helps you find greater success your relationship with your child.
Enjoy the journey, the future is in our hands!